9.28.2009

Rocking the Foundation

Here is my first draft. It is by no means finished, as you can see by the length. But, it is all i could get out before the writers block set in and i started searching for an outside article that didn't pale in comparison to those we had already read.
If you edit on the document please do so in a differnt color or font. Thanks. 

4 comments:

  1. It was hard to really give any help since you didn't have your full article developed yet, but I printed it out and did some editing which I will give you in class. So far it sounds good though.

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  2. I made some corrections and notes in red. I loved this line. "Though the opinions of these writers often clash, they inadvertently work together to form the basis of an argument that web reading and writing does, in fact, have an effect the way we read and write." I would say introduce some of the writers earlier because it says "these writers," but we don't know who yet. The essay presents a lot of great points, just be careful of saying reading and writing a lot. I came across some problems trying to think of synonyms for literacy so I didn't get repetitive.

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  3. Toward the end, you really started to catch your stride. The parts about Hedges's views were funny.

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  4. The only thing I can say is to expand the ideas of like Hedge's and Carr's with your own. I know what they think but I want to know what you think.

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